OPEN: The 17 Year-Old Virgin
Feb. 10th, 2016 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluezone[ It all begins because Aomine is bad at English.
He's bad at a lot of things in school, to be fair. With his seniors currently busy with their own hefty study schedules due to college entrance exams, he's down to just Wakamatsu, Ryo, and Satsuki tocarry support him through his classes. This means his grades have been getting worse, which have ironically begun to hurt his chances of making it to games despite all the practice - or "trying out his new shoes" or "working some kinks out of his back" or "I can do what I want, shut up" - he's been putting in lately. As thirsty as the Touou athletics division is for a serious title instead of what tournament circles have started to call a habitual second place slot, there's only so many ways to cheat Aomine into a passing grade.
So there's no more just napping and taking baths at home. There's no more napping and reading magazines at school. There's no more skipping out of his last class to just shoot hoops in the park where no one can bother him. Satsuki already took all his skin mags, Wakamatsu locked up all his basketball shoes in the team's practice facility, and Ryo now eats lunch with him every day, just so he can do one thing: study.
And study.
And study.
And study some more.
They only reason his dad hasn't put the wireless behind a password is that so he can study at home, but if his dad thinks Aomine isn't going to look at porn when he and mom happen to be out, he's got another thing com-- ] ...what?!
[ Aomine, sitting at his desk in sweats, a t-shirt, and with a box of tissues on his lap, is also staring at his laptop screen.
THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY McAFEE PARENTAL CONTROLS. ]
That's BULLSHIT!
[ A half hour and a lot of swearing later - one foul word for every new HAS BEEN BLOCKED discovery - Aomine is morosely browsing US basketball forums, because his dad hadn't thought to block non-Japanese sites. However, it all comes back around to studying once again, because instead of tissues, Aomine has his English textbook and dictionary on the desk and in his lap and he is stubbornly, bitterly attempting to fuck around, even if he has to learn English to do it.
Eventually, a forum topic that translates, roughly, to "HOW BALL BETTER YOU?" catches his eye. A look through the posts shows many of them to be too long to attempt, but a few are a couple sentences; one or two is just one short statement. He picks several of them and goes to work, muttering under his breath as he puts together semi-legible sentences:
"SOCKS HIGH ME."
"THROW TWO HOUR BROTHER."
"PLEDGE TAKE."
And so on like that, most of them without replies. One, however, earns a long, intense comment chain, prompting Aomine to put a little more effort into getting it to make sense:
"LOTS OF ----- I GET."
Lots of...something. A word he hasn't seen written down. It makes him feel too much like an elementary school kid, but Aomine has to take each letter and sound it out. ]
Ph...uhs...cee.
[ The heck is that even supposed to-- ] ...oh.
[ Aomine's eyes widen with revelation. ]
Ooooohhhh.
[ He spends another half hour deciphering the rest of the comment chain, making out agreement after agreement and, in a few cases, stories from guys about how one night made all the difference in their game, even dropping a few juicy details here and there.
That's all Aomine really needs to be convinced, or at least, convinced enough to give it a shot.
That's why, sometime after 9:30 PM on a Friday night, one unfortunate (or fortunate?) number on his contact list is going to be getting a call, which consists of: ]
Hey.
[ He says as a greeting, before immediately leaping into his next statement: ]
I need to have sex.
((OOC: A (mainly) canon-based PSL! The person on the phone can be any KnB character; or, if you'd like to be an outside character AU'd into the setting, please hit me up on plurk!))
He's bad at a lot of things in school, to be fair. With his seniors currently busy with their own hefty study schedules due to college entrance exams, he's down to just Wakamatsu, Ryo, and Satsuki to
So there's no more just napping and taking baths at home. There's no more napping and reading magazines at school. There's no more skipping out of his last class to just shoot hoops in the park where no one can bother him. Satsuki already took all his skin mags, Wakamatsu locked up all his basketball shoes in the team's practice facility, and Ryo now eats lunch with him every day, just so he can do one thing: study.
And study.
And study.
And study some more.
They only reason his dad hasn't put the wireless behind a password is that so he can study at home, but if his dad thinks Aomine isn't going to look at porn when he and mom happen to be out, he's got another thing com-- ] ...what?!
[ Aomine, sitting at his desk in sweats, a t-shirt, and with a box of tissues on his lap, is also staring at his laptop screen.
THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY McAFEE PARENTAL CONTROLS. ]
That's BULLSHIT!
[ A half hour and a lot of swearing later - one foul word for every new HAS BEEN BLOCKED discovery - Aomine is morosely browsing US basketball forums, because his dad hadn't thought to block non-Japanese sites. However, it all comes back around to studying once again, because instead of tissues, Aomine has his English textbook and dictionary on the desk and in his lap and he is stubbornly, bitterly attempting to fuck around, even if he has to learn English to do it.
Eventually, a forum topic that translates, roughly, to "HOW BALL BETTER YOU?" catches his eye. A look through the posts shows many of them to be too long to attempt, but a few are a couple sentences; one or two is just one short statement. He picks several of them and goes to work, muttering under his breath as he puts together semi-legible sentences:
"SOCKS HIGH ME."
"THROW TWO HOUR BROTHER."
"PLEDGE TAKE."
And so on like that, most of them without replies. One, however, earns a long, intense comment chain, prompting Aomine to put a little more effort into getting it to make sense:
"LOTS OF ----- I GET."
Lots of...something. A word he hasn't seen written down. It makes him feel too much like an elementary school kid, but Aomine has to take each letter and sound it out. ]
Ph...uhs...cee.
[ The heck is that even supposed to-- ] ...oh.
[ Aomine's eyes widen with revelation. ]
Ooooohhhh.
[ He spends another half hour deciphering the rest of the comment chain, making out agreement after agreement and, in a few cases, stories from guys about how one night made all the difference in their game, even dropping a few juicy details here and there.
That's all Aomine really needs to be convinced, or at least, convinced enough to give it a shot.
That's why, sometime after 9:30 PM on a Friday night, one unfortunate (or fortunate?) number on his contact list is going to be getting a call, which consists of: ]
Hey.
[ He says as a greeting, before immediately leaping into his next statement: ]
I need to have sex.
((OOC: A (mainly) canon-based PSL! The person on the phone can be any KnB character; or, if you'd like to be an outside character AU'd into the setting, please hit me up on plurk!))
loser alert
Date: 2016-02-11 01:45 am (UTC)Oh, hey, Aominecchi!
[ It's an added bonus that it's someone he can safely slack off with instead of risking getting nagged to study like his teammates would. Really, why does a sports-obsessed school like Kaijou even have minimum grade standards for their team players, anyway? He definitely thinks there should be some kind of exception for first stringers. It's fair, right?? Some people are good at sports, some people are good at the academic stuff and he'll just gloss over that he knows a few people who are absurdly good at both because it undermines his point and they go to different schools anyway so they definitely shouldn't count.
He doesn't really have a chance to break into academic complaints, although the laugh Aomine draws out of him is pretty cathartic. ]
What, seriously?
[ His tone goes earnest, so very earnest. ]
But Aominecchi, weren't you saving yourself for Mai-chan? She'll be so disappointed, you know.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-11 08:26 pm (UTC)You don't know anything about idols, Kise.
[ That brief, revelatory statement on Aomine's (pathetic) hobbies aside, he still has a goal here and while Kise might not be the best person to call for this, he's also the only one out of their class that's ever had a girlfriend. The idea of a girlfriend had always struck Aomine as way too much trouble and effort, Midorima is married to that weird manservant of his, Murasakibara...might actually have one, but would never share, and Akashi and Tetsu are probably saving themselves for marriage.
That leaves Kise. Dubiously. ]
I need to have sex. Can you help me or not?
[ Because next on his list is Ryo, if not. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-12 01:08 am (UTC)[ The life of a minor celebrity is just so rough, Aomine. Kise knows this all too well firsthand; he hasn't even had a steady girlfriend for a while either! Being semi-famous and as incredibly good-looking as he is just seems to make way too many girls get all clingy and demanding of his time and he doesn't really want to deal with getting tied down like that. ]
There's no way I can get a girl for you for that, though. Just about everyone I could call up's going to be more interested in doing it with me than you, and I don't wanna think about what the ones who would do it would want out of me for a favor like that.
[ He recites it by rote, his monotone well-honed by saying the exact same thing to Moriyama pretty much daily. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 12:01 am (UTC)Aomine's internal denial monologue aside, he makes a face at his phone, because - ]
What the hell do you mean, they wouldn't be interested?
[ Because that's what he takes away from Kise's shutdown, of course. ]
What's wrong with me?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 04:05 am (UTC)[ And really, Kise's not even saying it out of some kind of narcissism here. They're his fans so obviously they'll only be interested in him and wouldn't take it well if he asked them to have sex with some guy he knows, right?
Not that Aomine's bad-looking (for a guy), but still.
It just leads into— ]
I mean, doesn't asking that show you're kind of insensitive about girls, too? You have to think about their feelings.
[ Kise really thinks Momoi deserves some kind of lifetime achievement award for putting up with Aomine for so long... ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-16 05:03 pm (UTC)He's never gotten it, actually, especially when the Kise off the court is in a way a lot more boring than the one on it. He likes that part of him better, when his eyes go narrow and he smiles that shitty, cunning grin. That's when you know the game is on.
But he's getting distracted here, and he has another question, anyway: ]
What do feelings have to do with sex?
[ WEE-OO WEE-OO.
DOUCHE ALERT. ]
...he's also kind of a douche
Date: 2016-02-16 09:01 pm (UTC)[ Seriously, how can a guy so good at basketball be so bad at...well, everything else? ]
Look, I'm not saying you have to be in love with someone to have sex with them, obviously you don't need that.
[ He'd still be a virgin if it worked like that, obviously. ]
But the other person has to want to do it with you, you know! That's the very basics!
this is why they're friends
Date: 2016-02-17 02:16 am (UTC)But then he recalls that he basically told Kise he is, so he let's it go.
Plus, Kise is making a vague about of sense here, enough to keep Aomine on the line and paying attention. ]
Alright. If you say that's how it is, I'll believe you.
[ Small mercies. ]
Do you know anyone that wants to have sex with me?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-17 03:34 am (UTC)But instead there's a brief pause while he contemplates making a highly questionable life decision. ]
Hmm...
Does it have to be a girl? [ He says it completely offhand, as if it's not a question that remotely matters at all. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-23 03:33 am (UTC)[ He wonders for a second if it's a preface to some dumb joke, like suggesting Aomine try it with a blow-up doll or something to see if it'll work the same. He's more than ready to say I already thought about that, but even though he and Kise haven't hung out together in a long time, there's still a certain tone that Aomine catches.
A tone that says Kise's thinking of something. Good or bad? Could go either way. ]
It's gotta be a person.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-23 04:47 am (UTC)What are you even saying, stupid? Of course a person, it doesn't count if it's not a person.
I meant, would you do it with a guy?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-27 04:41 am (UTC)....a few more seconds.
Finally: ] ...dunno. Never thought about it before.
[ It's a rare bit a honesty from him, the likes of which he'd only drop on Tetsu or Satsuki - and Kise. He's got a vague worry that Kise might blab, and certain stigmas are definitely unwanted, especially in high school. But he leans back in his computer chair and rubs at the back of his head. ]
Would you?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-27 07:56 am (UTC)But Kise's come this far and Aomine didn't say no and the guy's one of the few special cases even outside of these circumstances.
So it's Okay. ]
...Yeah. I mean, I'm more into girls, but I'd do it with a guy.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-03 04:13 am (UTC)And now that the secret's out, he has to ask: ]
Have you before?
[ He's never seen Kise with a guy, but...he wouldn't, would he, even if he had been seeing someone on the side other than his girlfriends. Who would even...Tetsu?
...man. Maybe. ]