OPEN: The 17 Year-Old Virgin
Feb. 10th, 2016 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bluezone[ It all begins because Aomine is bad at English.
He's bad at a lot of things in school, to be fair. With his seniors currently busy with their own hefty study schedules due to college entrance exams, he's down to just Wakamatsu, Ryo, and Satsuki tocarry support him through his classes. This means his grades have been getting worse, which have ironically begun to hurt his chances of making it to games despite all the practice - or "trying out his new shoes" or "working some kinks out of his back" or "I can do what I want, shut up" - he's been putting in lately. As thirsty as the Touou athletics division is for a serious title instead of what tournament circles have started to call a habitual second place slot, there's only so many ways to cheat Aomine into a passing grade.
So there's no more just napping and taking baths at home. There's no more napping and reading magazines at school. There's no more skipping out of his last class to just shoot hoops in the park where no one can bother him. Satsuki already took all his skin mags, Wakamatsu locked up all his basketball shoes in the team's practice facility, and Ryo now eats lunch with him every day, just so he can do one thing: study.
And study.
And study.
And study some more.
They only reason his dad hasn't put the wireless behind a password is that so he can study at home, but if his dad thinks Aomine isn't going to look at porn when he and mom happen to be out, he's got another thing com-- ] ...what?!
[ Aomine, sitting at his desk in sweats, a t-shirt, and with a box of tissues on his lap, is also staring at his laptop screen.
THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY McAFEE PARENTAL CONTROLS. ]
That's BULLSHIT!
[ A half hour and a lot of swearing later - one foul word for every new HAS BEEN BLOCKED discovery - Aomine is morosely browsing US basketball forums, because his dad hadn't thought to block non-Japanese sites. However, it all comes back around to studying once again, because instead of tissues, Aomine has his English textbook and dictionary on the desk and in his lap and he is stubbornly, bitterly attempting to fuck around, even if he has to learn English to do it.
Eventually, a forum topic that translates, roughly, to "HOW BALL BETTER YOU?" catches his eye. A look through the posts shows many of them to be too long to attempt, but a few are a couple sentences; one or two is just one short statement. He picks several of them and goes to work, muttering under his breath as he puts together semi-legible sentences:
"SOCKS HIGH ME."
"THROW TWO HOUR BROTHER."
"PLEDGE TAKE."
And so on like that, most of them without replies. One, however, earns a long, intense comment chain, prompting Aomine to put a little more effort into getting it to make sense:
"LOTS OF ----- I GET."
Lots of...something. A word he hasn't seen written down. It makes him feel too much like an elementary school kid, but Aomine has to take each letter and sound it out. ]
Ph...uhs...cee.
[ The heck is that even supposed to-- ] ...oh.
[ Aomine's eyes widen with revelation. ]
Ooooohhhh.
[ He spends another half hour deciphering the rest of the comment chain, making out agreement after agreement and, in a few cases, stories from guys about how one night made all the difference in their game, even dropping a few juicy details here and there.
That's all Aomine really needs to be convinced, or at least, convinced enough to give it a shot.
That's why, sometime after 9:30 PM on a Friday night, one unfortunate (or fortunate?) number on his contact list is going to be getting a call, which consists of: ]
Hey.
[ He says as a greeting, before immediately leaping into his next statement: ]
I need to have sex.
((OOC: A (mainly) canon-based PSL! The person on the phone can be any KnB character; or, if you'd like to be an outside character AU'd into the setting, please hit me up on plurk!))
He's bad at a lot of things in school, to be fair. With his seniors currently busy with their own hefty study schedules due to college entrance exams, he's down to just Wakamatsu, Ryo, and Satsuki to
So there's no more just napping and taking baths at home. There's no more napping and reading magazines at school. There's no more skipping out of his last class to just shoot hoops in the park where no one can bother him. Satsuki already took all his skin mags, Wakamatsu locked up all his basketball shoes in the team's practice facility, and Ryo now eats lunch with him every day, just so he can do one thing: study.
And study.
And study.
And study some more.
They only reason his dad hasn't put the wireless behind a password is that so he can study at home, but if his dad thinks Aomine isn't going to look at porn when he and mom happen to be out, he's got another thing com-- ] ...what?!
[ Aomine, sitting at his desk in sweats, a t-shirt, and with a box of tissues on his lap, is also staring at his laptop screen.
THIS WEBSITE HAS BEEN BLOCKED BY McAFEE PARENTAL CONTROLS. ]
That's BULLSHIT!
[ A half hour and a lot of swearing later - one foul word for every new HAS BEEN BLOCKED discovery - Aomine is morosely browsing US basketball forums, because his dad hadn't thought to block non-Japanese sites. However, it all comes back around to studying once again, because instead of tissues, Aomine has his English textbook and dictionary on the desk and in his lap and he is stubbornly, bitterly attempting to fuck around, even if he has to learn English to do it.
Eventually, a forum topic that translates, roughly, to "HOW BALL BETTER YOU?" catches his eye. A look through the posts shows many of them to be too long to attempt, but a few are a couple sentences; one or two is just one short statement. He picks several of them and goes to work, muttering under his breath as he puts together semi-legible sentences:
"SOCKS HIGH ME."
"THROW TWO HOUR BROTHER."
"PLEDGE TAKE."
And so on like that, most of them without replies. One, however, earns a long, intense comment chain, prompting Aomine to put a little more effort into getting it to make sense:
"LOTS OF ----- I GET."
Lots of...something. A word he hasn't seen written down. It makes him feel too much like an elementary school kid, but Aomine has to take each letter and sound it out. ]
Ph...uhs...cee.
[ The heck is that even supposed to-- ] ...oh.
[ Aomine's eyes widen with revelation. ]
Ooooohhhh.
[ He spends another half hour deciphering the rest of the comment chain, making out agreement after agreement and, in a few cases, stories from guys about how one night made all the difference in their game, even dropping a few juicy details here and there.
That's all Aomine really needs to be convinced, or at least, convinced enough to give it a shot.
That's why, sometime after 9:30 PM on a Friday night, one unfortunate (or fortunate?) number on his contact list is going to be getting a call, which consists of: ]
Hey.
[ He says as a greeting, before immediately leaping into his next statement: ]
I need to have sex.
((OOC: A (mainly) canon-based PSL! The person on the phone can be any KnB character; or, if you'd like to be an outside character AU'd into the setting, please hit me up on plurk!))
loser alert
Date: 2016-02-11 01:45 am (UTC)Oh, hey, Aominecchi!
[ It's an added bonus that it's someone he can safely slack off with instead of risking getting nagged to study like his teammates would. Really, why does a sports-obsessed school like Kaijou even have minimum grade standards for their team players, anyway? He definitely thinks there should be some kind of exception for first stringers. It's fair, right?? Some people are good at sports, some people are good at the academic stuff and he'll just gloss over that he knows a few people who are absurdly good at both because it undermines his point and they go to different schools anyway so they definitely shouldn't count.
He doesn't really have a chance to break into academic complaints, although the laugh Aomine draws out of him is pretty cathartic. ]
What, seriously?
[ His tone goes earnest, so very earnest. ]
But Aominecchi, weren't you saving yourself for Mai-chan? She'll be so disappointed, you know.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-11 08:26 pm (UTC)You don't know anything about idols, Kise.
[ That brief, revelatory statement on Aomine's (pathetic) hobbies aside, he still has a goal here and while Kise might not be the best person to call for this, he's also the only one out of their class that's ever had a girlfriend. The idea of a girlfriend had always struck Aomine as way too much trouble and effort, Midorima is married to that weird manservant of his, Murasakibara...might actually have one, but would never share, and Akashi and Tetsu are probably saving themselves for marriage.
That leaves Kise. Dubiously. ]
I need to have sex. Can you help me or not?
[ Because next on his list is Ryo, if not. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-12 01:08 am (UTC)[ The life of a minor celebrity is just so rough, Aomine. Kise knows this all too well firsthand; he hasn't even had a steady girlfriend for a while either! Being semi-famous and as incredibly good-looking as he is just seems to make way too many girls get all clingy and demanding of his time and he doesn't really want to deal with getting tied down like that. ]
There's no way I can get a girl for you for that, though. Just about everyone I could call up's going to be more interested in doing it with me than you, and I don't wanna think about what the ones who would do it would want out of me for a favor like that.
[ He recites it by rote, his monotone well-honed by saying the exact same thing to Moriyama pretty much daily. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 12:01 am (UTC)Aomine's internal denial monologue aside, he makes a face at his phone, because - ]
What the hell do you mean, they wouldn't be interested?
[ Because that's what he takes away from Kise's shutdown, of course. ]
What's wrong with me?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 04:05 am (UTC)[ And really, Kise's not even saying it out of some kind of narcissism here. They're his fans so obviously they'll only be interested in him and wouldn't take it well if he asked them to have sex with some guy he knows, right?
Not that Aomine's bad-looking (for a guy), but still.
It just leads into— ]
I mean, doesn't asking that show you're kind of insensitive about girls, too? You have to think about their feelings.
[ Kise really thinks Momoi deserves some kind of lifetime achievement award for putting up with Aomine for so long... ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-16 05:03 pm (UTC)He's never gotten it, actually, especially when the Kise off the court is in a way a lot more boring than the one on it. He likes that part of him better, when his eyes go narrow and he smiles that shitty, cunning grin. That's when you know the game is on.
But he's getting distracted here, and he has another question, anyway: ]
What do feelings have to do with sex?
[ WEE-OO WEE-OO.
DOUCHE ALERT. ]
...he's also kind of a douche
Date: 2016-02-16 09:01 pm (UTC)[ Seriously, how can a guy so good at basketball be so bad at...well, everything else? ]
Look, I'm not saying you have to be in love with someone to have sex with them, obviously you don't need that.
[ He'd still be a virgin if it worked like that, obviously. ]
But the other person has to want to do it with you, you know! That's the very basics!
this is why they're friends
Date: 2016-02-17 02:16 am (UTC)But then he recalls that he basically told Kise he is, so he let's it go.
Plus, Kise is making a vague about of sense here, enough to keep Aomine on the line and paying attention. ]
Alright. If you say that's how it is, I'll believe you.
[ Small mercies. ]
Do you know anyone that wants to have sex with me?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-17 03:34 am (UTC)But instead there's a brief pause while he contemplates making a highly questionable life decision. ]
Hmm...
Does it have to be a girl? [ He says it completely offhand, as if it's not a question that remotely matters at all. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-23 03:33 am (UTC)[ He wonders for a second if it's a preface to some dumb joke, like suggesting Aomine try it with a blow-up doll or something to see if it'll work the same. He's more than ready to say I already thought about that, but even though he and Kise haven't hung out together in a long time, there's still a certain tone that Aomine catches.
A tone that says Kise's thinking of something. Good or bad? Could go either way. ]
It's gotta be a person.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-23 04:47 am (UTC)What are you even saying, stupid? Of course a person, it doesn't count if it's not a person.
I meant, would you do it with a guy?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-27 04:41 am (UTC)....a few more seconds.
Finally: ] ...dunno. Never thought about it before.
[ It's a rare bit a honesty from him, the likes of which he'd only drop on Tetsu or Satsuki - and Kise. He's got a vague worry that Kise might blab, and certain stigmas are definitely unwanted, especially in high school. But he leans back in his computer chair and rubs at the back of his head. ]
Would you?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-27 07:56 am (UTC)But Kise's come this far and Aomine didn't say no and the guy's one of the few special cases even outside of these circumstances.
So it's Okay. ]
...Yeah. I mean, I'm more into girls, but I'd do it with a guy.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-03 04:13 am (UTC)And now that the secret's out, he has to ask: ]
Have you before?
[ He's never seen Kise with a guy, but...he wouldn't, would he, even if he had been seeing someone on the side other than his girlfriends. Who would even...Tetsu?
...man. Maybe. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-11 02:10 am (UTC)He has to ponder his response for a moment or two, seriously consider the pros and cons of saying, "Delete this number immediately" — he settles on not doing it because the major con is that Aomine might rub two brain cells together and think that he can fluster Akashi by giving him random booty calls. Akashi cannot risk that. He is a young man of dignity and pride. Or something. ]
I... beg your pardon, but what?
[ Akashi's ludicrous upbringing as a young master has prepared him for many situations requiring etiquette, but not one like this. ]
Shouldn't you be studying instead of... doing whatever it is that this is?
[ Gossip gets around fast in the Generation of Miracles circuit. That, and Akashi had to deal with this for two years himself, so he just assumes that Aomine (and Kise, for that matter) are in danger of failing something or other, if not just everything across the board, at any given point in time. Flattering stuff. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-11 08:33 pm (UTC)[ The universe wouldn't fault Akashi for assuming that's a lie. ]
This is important. If I want to keep playing basketball, I need to have sex.
[ There's a few layers to that statement. First, that Aomine feels the situation, or "situation", merits the dreaded admission that yes, he still cares about basketball very much, never mind that anyone with eyes already knows. Second, that his entire future as a professional athlete in the National Basketball Association hinges on sex right now, at this very moment.
He sounds like he believes it, at least to launch into the next stage of his plan, or "plan". ]
Your dad's a businessman, right? Businessmen know where all the soaplands and stuff are, don't they?
[ Translation: Aomine assumes that Akashi Seijuro knows where and how to acquire a prostitute. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 05:06 am (UTC)... I'm not even sure where to start here.
[ On second thought, yes he does, his father might be an emotionally distant prick but he's pretty sure his dad wouldn't do anything that might makes his mother, bless her soul, cry up there in heaven. He thinks.
Before he gets trapped into a conversation that involves his parents' sex life, though, there's something very obviously wrong about this conversation, and Akashi would very much like to cut to the heart of it. ]
Why is it that you think that you need to have sex to keep playing basketball, exactly?
[ He feels like he's going down the metaphorical rabbithole here. Akashi almost hopes that this explanation is going to make no sense, so he can write it off as delusion and pretend this never happened. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-16 05:10 pm (UTC)I was doing research -
[ No. 1. ]
- but my asshole dad blocked all the porn websites, so I tried to find something else -
[ No. 2 ]
- I don't know the name of the forum, read-eet or something, English is shitty -
[ No. 3 ]
- they all said their game was only great after sleeping with someone. I need to test it out.
[ Not that he doesn't already know that he's better than 99% of the non-professional scrubs out there, but imagine: if sex can make you great at basketball, to the point where no one is going to force you to keep going to practices, wouldn't that be great? It'd be super great. He could go back to napping. He could even possibly stop having to study all the time.
So here he is. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-18 04:31 am (UTC)I'm... not necessarily opposed to you wanting to improve your basketball skills, but don't you think you should concentrate on not getting kicked off of the team due to subpar academic performance first?
[ There's a pause, and then the distinct sound of Akashi (1) sighing, and (2) giving up on life for a split second. And then he recovers because god, he can't give up on life and have the reason be Aomine Daiki mystifies me.
There's a saying about carrots and sticks. Maybe he just needs to offer the metaphorical carrot to go with the stick of "don't get thrown off the basketball team, you idiot". ]
I'll make you a deal. Fix your grades, and I'll help you out with your test.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-23 03:38 am (UTC)Aaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggghh.
Augh. He goes through all the trouble of calling Akashi Seijuro - which is, admittedly, slightly less trouble these days, but who knows when a relapse is going to happen? - and he just gets told to study? Again?
What has he done in life to deserve this. ] ...fine.
Fine, I'll do it.
[ The...study. Thing. ]
But I'm holding you to that. Don't think you can get out of it.
[ With that ominous promise, there's a beep on Aomine's end as he hangs up.
See you after exams, Akashi. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-02-29 03:08 am (UTC)... Ah well, he should take this victory while it lasts. He has his own midterms to get through himself, after all, and the roughly gajillion other responsibilities of a teenage overachiever. But some time after his midterm results come out with the perfect sweep of top scores across the board, he is driven by a masochistic form of pride to actually make good on his word.
Ring ring you better pick up Aomine his blood pressure is already going crazy. ]
So, let's hear it. How are your grades?
[ He could say hello or something, but whatever. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-03 04:23 am (UTC)He is a changed man.
It's been a terrible six weeks. Things got worse before they got better; the Touou academic administration made good on their threat and he missed one game. They lost that night. They lost, and Aomine went home, and locked himself into his bedroom with his failed pre-test papers for a whole weekend. When Akashi calls after the whole affair is behind him, he's facedown on his bed, a basketball under one arm and a mug of black coffee on his nightstand.
He almost doesn't pick up. When he does, he doesn't look at the number, and says, first, gruffly: ]
Shut up. Don't bother me.
[ But then he recognizes that voice, and he remembers a month and a half ago, when the world was still beautiful and he was still innocent.
Aomine sits up. ]
I passed.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-04 02:08 am (UTC)Good. If you're willing to listen to suggestions — [ Yeah whatever he's going to make his anyway... ] — perhaps you wouldn't struggle so much academically if you were more consistent with actually studying.
[ ... Anyway, now onto the part Akashi has nobly been trying to not think about too hard all this while. ]
I take it you're still trying to fix your sex problem.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-10 06:02 am (UTC)[ About studying, he means. He hasn't told a soul about his agreement with Akashi, mainly for two reasons: first, it's nobody's business, and second, no one would believe him. Probably. ]
Yeah, I am.
You gonna hook me up?
[ And while there's nothing on this green earth that, he, Daiki Aomine, can do or threaten Akashi with, there is nevertheless that ominous tone back in his voice again.
He didn't suffer through all of this to not have sex. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-14 12:40 am (UTC)I don't break promises, even if I might regret giving my word in the first place.
[ He's not even going to deny that he regrets this, no. ]
Just wondering, but... the absolute bottom line here is that you have sex, right? Everything else is just detail.
no subject
Date: 2016-03-29 07:15 pm (UTC)[ Said in the tone of a man who's had that on his mind this whole time, repeating it like a prayer or an oath. ]
And with a real person, not a doll or something.
[ In case there's any loop-hole searching going on, because he knows Akashi: he's a (fatally) smart guy who'd think through all the possible options. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-31 03:34 am (UTC)Very well. I don't see a lot of options left, then. I think it would make the most sense for me to come visit you personally, at this point, and talk about what the plan will be face-to-face. Does that sounds alright to you?
[ He's trying to think of it as a business trip.
... He's failing, for once in his life. But he's trying. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-03-31 08:06 pm (UTC)[ Aomine's assumption: Akashi is going to bring a girl. From where and how, he has no idea, but technically that's not his problem; it's Akashi's. ]
When?
[ Because, you know, he's ready any time. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-04-03 02:10 am (UTC)I think it'd be prescient to rip the band-aid, so to speak. I'll come over next Saturday. Should we meet at the train station, or shall I come to you?
no subject
Date: 2016-04-03 11:36 pm (UTC)I'll meet you at the station.
[ And click goes the phone.
Sometime between hanging up and meeting with Akashi, he'll call back to actually work out a time, considering he failed to do that previously. But contrary to his usual behavior, he'll be at the station right on time.
In fact, he'll even be a little early, phone in hand, as he flips through a map search. ]
no subject
Date: 2016-04-05 01:40 am (UTC)Or something is looking to be the more likely option.
Either way, he can only move forward and he's going to get kicked off the train if he lingers, so he doesn't dawdle about and walks straight over to Aomine. ]
... It's really not like you to be so punctual. I didn't keep you waiting long, did I?
[ Not that he expects this to buy him much time. ]
Let's get lunch and... discuss things. I don't think we should do this in the middle of the train station.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-08 06:09 am (UTC)[ Although Aomine is...not surprised, but maybe a little confused. Akashi is alone, which sucks, but maybe they'll go somewhere that there's a girl?
...or they'll go to lunch. Okay. ] ...sure. There's a Maji Burger down the street from here.
[ Because of course there is. ]
Shouldn't be too packed right now.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-17 02:55 am (UTC)[ He'll let Aomine lead the way, then; in a shocking twist, he's not particularly enthused about this venture. ]
So perhaps I should ask... what exactly are your expectations right now?
[ Akashi wants to know how badly the reality is going to break these expectations before he has to start talking about The Plan. ]